Trust

Frank Capra, the famous director, said, “A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.”

Hunches, for some people, are the bread and butter of their lives. Detectives, for instance, rely upon hunches more often than not in order to solve crimes. It’s that nagging feeling that claws at the back of your subconscious every time you close your eyes, or it’s the thought that buzzes around in your mind throughout your day. Successful investors rely upon those hunches far more often than they rely upon statistical data or spreadsheets. Any profitable hedge fund manager will tell you that instinct and “feel” will edge out reason and research 99.9% of the time. Yes, the research is there, but how often has a true start-up company been able to prove their worth to a shrewd investor?

As an independent author, I’ve come to rely upon the power of the hunch, and lately I’ve thrown my hat into the ring on a couple of doozies. I’m involved in a very risky project that is currently in the process of being completed. I went into it based upon the hunch that the story (a biography) needed telling. It’s hard for me to trust people; innately I suspect every person I meet of ulterior motives for seeking a close relationship with me. Two conversations with the gentleman at the center of this story convinced me that we’d be friends forever, and I’ve grown to love this man as I would my own siblings.

My second project involves a stranger who is helping me fine-tune my erotic writing in order to craft a manuscript meant for men to read. Again, take into account how hard it is for me to trust anyone. I’m leaping over deep chasms of doubt as I extend my creative soul – all based on a hunch.

Writers are solitary beings; well, most writers are. I am a socially gregarious creature, and I suppose this is why I spend time at the gym or chatting it up online when I really should be working more hours. The truth is that I glean so much inspiration from the outside world that I can’t resist the gravitational pull from humanity. Resistance is futile, people.

Burning Down the House

Few things give a writer more joy that finding the spark of a story arc flashing through their mind! Quickly running to pen and paper, pencil and napkin, fingers and keyboard – the rush is on to scribble the synopsis quickly. We’re all building a rudimentary fire with two pieces of soft wood and intense physical exertion. The last thing we need to do is take a deep breath and blow out the slight spark and have to start all over again.

From concept to completion, we nurture our work – again, let me bring in the fire analogy. Without constant feeding and stirring, rearranging the logs and the slight embers, the fire will die and you’ll be out in the cold.

I’m an organic writer. Translation: I have at least three books going at all times. I’ve been curious how other writers find their rhythm. Do you awaken to coffee and classical music and dive into the pool head first or feet first? How about the dreaded belly flop? Ever had one of those? I have, literally and figuratively.

Right now, I have about fifteen irons in the fire, all of them being furiously jostled and jangled in an effort to keep the fire from going out. The motion is dizzying, the sparks are flying all around me, albeit often uncontrollably. Yet I keep the stirring the fire – somehow.

The Creative Process

Face it. Artists are a strange bunch. We work on our craft for months, perhaps years, before we consider any particular project complete. Then, as if by design, we look back on it and thoughtfully declare that it could have been better.

I've read that Michelangelo was a tormented artist. He never felt that his work was good enough; never felt that his work was complete. Likewise for da Vinci, Rafael, and many of the other greats.

With this in mind, do we debase our work because we don't want to appear pompous? Or, contrarily, do we really feel that our work is always evolving? Pierre Bonnard said, "A painting that is well composed is half finished." This is true of all great works of art, I believe. Writers could go on page after page and never feel their manuscript complete. Let's be honest: there is a little Tolstoy in all of us. I've often wondered about the thoughts going on in his mind as he wrote 'War and Peace'.

They say that the first page is the hardest to write. I feel that the last page is the hardest to write.

What do you think?

Ready...Set...Stop

Monday through Thursday, I write like a fiend. I zombie-ize and fall into my laptop with a single purpose. All else in my life takes a number and waits for me to finish getting my thoughts into a digitized format. Flowers bloom and die and I don't notice. My house begins to crawl with clutter. I'm not alone, I'm sure.

Just recently, I made the decision to write full-time. My husband encouraged me to take the time to do it; he wanted me to get it out of my system. I'm sure he thought I'd get discouraged, give up, and then go back to being the good wife and mother that he wanted to marry.

Yesterday my darling husband asked, "So, exactly how many books are you selling?" Hmm. Have to think about this. Should I be honest and tell him that sales are dismal because the market is glutted with thousands of aspiring self-publishers? Or, do I lie and make him feel that I've found my niche and give him a reassuring kiss as a distraction? Either way, I'm screwed. If I'm honest, he'll tell me to get a real job. If I lie, I'll tell myself to get a real job.

I'm curious how many hours a week most writers put into their craft. Ten? Twenty? Eighty? Are we all obsessed with becoming the next James Patterson or Danielle Steel? I know I am. Again, we swing back to honesty.

Back to paragraph one. What am I missing in life while I pursue my dream of becoming the next big thing? In a word: Everything.

I'm missing seeing my adult children moving on with their lives. I'm missing the man that I love. I'm missing coffee dates and interacting with real people. I need to stop missing everything. My manuscript will be there tomorrow, waiting patiently, but the people in my life won't.

Erotic Romance and Stretching the Boundaries

I recently gave one of my rough manuscripts to a beta-reader that I've known for less than a year. She's been reading work for other writers, so I felt confident that she would be able to offer good insight into my writing. I don't ask my beta-readers to be editors, mind you. I ask for their OPINION about the story.

Three days after I sent the first manuscript, I received an angry telephone call. I'll paraphrase: "Your work is trash! Why does the sex have to be so graphic? Nobody wants to read that kind of garbage!"  Geesh! I'd sent her one of the manuscripts with tame sex. I would have blown her mind with the stuff I've written since I became an adult.

That got me to thinking, so I did a little research. Romance Fiction, the genre which includes erotica, accounted for over $1 billion in sales in the United States alone in 2010. That's huge. Then I thought about the genre of romance and how many different levels of heat are available to the reader. Like eating peppers, you can get it mild or flaming hot, and not all of us can handle the flaming hot. However, should the consumer be limited to only the Bell variety of pepper?

PayPal made the decision to require publishers who do business with them to basically clean it up or lose their services. PayPal, by their own standards, would restrict the sale of Fanny Hill based on the title alone. Ridiculous.

There are hundreds of traditional romance writers who may see their income (and their creative freedom) caged in bondage because of PayPal.  Of course, the market will come up with an alternative, and I predict that PayPal will lose their market share of internet commerce business.

As for me, I'm going to keep writing my "scotch bonnet" novels.